In March 2005, I was admitted by ambulance to Sparrow Hospital.

I weighed 501 pounds. I had open wounds on the front and back of my legs, difficulty breathing and a temperature of 103.6 degrees. I knew then, if I wanted to live, I had to change the lifestyle that had brought me to the brink of death at age 51.

I was born in 1953 in central Illinois to teenage parents, the oldest of four girls with only seven years between my youngest sister and myself. Brought up with typical midwestern Christian traditions, we always celebrated holidays with beautiful dinners. My father loved desserts. I learned to bake in 4-H and began making homemade bread by the time I was in high school.

My parents divorced when I was 17. At college, food was comfort; even though I dated and lived with a man who did not over eat. My top weight in college was 170 pounds. After graduation I discovered the "skip breakfast" crash diet and combined it with days of complete fasting. I bicycled back and forth to work and was at my lowest adult weight, 140 pounds.

I became engaged to my first husband, Bill, in 1977. He liked food, but also a very disciplined eater. One year later, I fell and fractured my left ankle, which limited my exercise options. Impressed with and grateful for the nursing care I had received, I began taking nursing classes at a local community college.

I graduated from nursing school in 1983. I was 5 feet 5 3/4 inches tall and weighed 190 pounds, size 20.

By age 33, I was up to 254 pounds and out of shape. I worked to become fit by walking my half-mile dirt driveway, going to get the mail and back. Two years later, I began working for my mother, a doctor in East Lansing. Walking one mile to and from work and swimming at the YWCA brought me back down to 190 pounds.

I became a public health nurse for the Ionia County Health Department in 1990. My beloved elderly husband's health began to deteriorate in 1994. Bill suffered a stroke, heart attack, and finally an intestinal blood clot. I spent nearly two years working my full-time job and caring for him at home. When he died, my grieving began in earnest. My weight climbed to 367 pounds, and it became harder and harder for me to do my job.

In 2001, I married my second husband, Paul. I quit my job and moved to his home in the mountains of California. We were very happy. But in the first 16 months of marriage, my weight continued to climb and my health began to fail. One year later, I was hospitalized for the first time with sepsis from leg wounds.

When we moved back to the Lansing area in 2003, the Sparrow Wound Clinic healed my leg wounds, but it was a painful process. My legs were too painful, and the compression bandages too bulky for me to drive. Paul became my chauffeur. By the next year, my leg wounds had broken open again. I was hospitalized with a serious infection.

It was fall of 2004 when I first heard the dreaded 500-pound-weight number. With my husband's help, I barely made it to the Lansing Public Health Department for a gynecological exam. I could no longer walk unaided. I walked slowly and painfully with a cane. My knees ached continuously. I woke gasping for breath at night from asthma or sleep apnea, and grabbed for my inhaler. I had also become incontinent.

Paul's health also was failing - he was diagnosed with bone marrow disease.

The following spring, I was hospitalized for intravenous antibiotics, diuretics, wound care and pain medication. I quickly dropped 28 pounds. It was clear the disability caused by my weight needed to be addressed. After two weeks, I was transferred from acute care to inpatient rehabilitation. Rehab taught me how to use a wheelchair and a walker, which I still use. By the time I was able to go home with Paul, I weighed 451 pounds.

I immediately signed up for classes with the Sparrow Weight Management Center. When I started the program, I didn't think I could go on OPTIFAST, so I tried losing weight with a non-liquid diet. I lost some weight, but as Paul's health weakened, I began to gain weight again.

I started the OPTIFAST program of 12 weeks liquid diet, then 12 weeks of transition back to food. My family and friends cleared my home of all the temptation food. I cried when I gave up the last two pounds of bacon Paul had bought me.

Paul died peacefully on June 19, 2005. OPTIFAST was the perfect food for me while grieving. I didn't have to worry about groceries or meal preparation. I learned that physical hunger could be completely satisfied by 160-calorie shakes. My grief and emotional hungers were alleviated, fed by friends, family and the weight management staff.

Today, my leg wounds are healed and I have lost 148 pounds. I no longer take medication for diabetes. My pain level is much improved, so my use of pain medication has reduced.

I attend maintenance meetings and weigh in every week. If I gain, I reassess my eating and get back on track. My latest triumph is that I am driving again, after three years of being dependent on others.

When I was in the hospital last year my youngest sister told me, if I lost 200 pounds, she would stop her lifetime of smoking. I plan to reach that goal and hope she will quit her harmful habit.

My ultimate goal is to reach 200 pounds - my nursing school graduation weight.

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